Well, we might never know why Christopher Blade Kotelly now wields his sword for Edify, but we can still see the effectiveness of one who is able to “usability test (his) own designs”.
On the Edify site, play the three real, live, hot call clips to the right of the page. These are deployed apps, and, theoretically, calls from real callers.
Now, before dissection, look here and here to see what they think of themselves.
So, on to the fun stuff. These VUIs suck (Oh, but why, Mommy, why??)
Why? Let me shoot the bottles off the fence:
1) Arbitrary, useless naming of persona
“I’m Max”?
Really?! Who cares? Am I supposed to be glad to meet Max? Can I come kick his ass when he doesn’t understand me or he doesn’t route my data to the agent? We don’t really care who waits on us at restaurants. We sure as hell don’t care to hear a VUI name itself. I'd rather talk to the Aibo! That would be interesting. By the way, you’ve heard how popular Claire was, right?
2) Lengthy intros and pinpoint instructions that say little and provide great opportunities for caller frustration
"In order to properly direct your call, I'll be asking a series of questions that require specific responses from you..." "At this point there are two ways I can help. If you're absolutely sure you need a repair..."
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!! SHUT -- THE -- HELL --- UP!!!!!! I DIDN’T CALL TO HEAR YOU TALK!!!!!
Oh, this is maddening and so inane. Do I care what Max needs? Do I care how limited his ways are to help me? So many usability tests have confirmed that long instructions are counterproductive that its hard to believe this still goes on. Oh, and in, er, the Blue Light sample, the intro goes on for OVER 20 SECONDS!!!!
3) Unclear mixture of directed speech with "natural language"
So, first Max wants easy answers, then, after he’s warmed up, just let it fly at him. Only one problem, HOW in the world will callers know to do that? The apparent fact is, they don’t! Callers tend to have a Law of Inertia. If you guide them in a directed fashion first, they tend to stay in that mode. If you let on that they can speak their mind first, then they might. But switching rarely happens in the wild. And certainly not with the clarity of this "real" caller.
-4) Annoying chirpy-ness and irritating helpfulness in persona and talent performance
“Speak your answers, and, if I lose you, just say ‘start over’”
What if I speak in tongues, and you lose me? This is sadly so common these days. Not speaking in tongues, but rather the oh-so-helpful and perky VUI that manages to sicken and offend at the same time. Tone it down! Why the 22 year-old voice insulting me that I might get lost? Or waiting to tell me how to let her know that I don't know something?
5) Wildly inconsistent lack /use of contractions and other standard conversational devices
“I’m” “What is” “you would” “what is” “I will” “Let’s” “you would”
Have these designers ever listened to real people talk?!?!?!? In that short clip, only TWO contractions are used yet at least 5 other phrases would almost always be contracted by native American-English speakers in this context. And listen to the unnatural repetition, the incorrect object stress, the blathering recovery prompt. Serenity Now!
All right. You know what? I couldn’t do it! I just couldn’t stand to listen to these enough to document all the things wrong. They are old, tired, weak… They are NOT Best Practice. They do not represent the best of what’s possible.
I simply beg, no IMPLORE, NO! GROVEL AT YOUR FEET! DO NOT use these as models for how to design. They are BAD. THEY SUCK!!!
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