Mommy, why do speech apps suck?

Who knew? (We did of course)

Conversational writing. It's not just for VUI anymore!

There's actually a number of good brainfillers there at the Creating Passionate Users blog.

World Usability Day

To all of us toiling in the industry that usability forgot, let us note, a day late of course, that 11/3 was World Usability Day. So, get a fresh cup of coffee, and spend an hour getting your own angle on how to make the world a better place.

World Usability Day

Good Experience

Effective and Efficient, Not Easy

It Really Matters

love and peace or else...

Just You Listen

So, a way to combat this problem, this malicious arrogance and its accomplice ignorance, is to:

stop

and listen

no, i mean really listen

listen like everything is new

listen to your customers as if they're right

listen with humility and a desire to learn

listen to yourself and a friend in real person conversation

listen to the way you think about the world when you're not at work

listen as if you want to know how to make the world a better place

listen as if small words mean more than big words

then just think about what you've heard and what was being said to you and around you

then think about what you are trying to create for your customers

then do what is right.

At a loss

Within the past month I've had a client tell me "no one should be able to get out of my IVR", read several articles like the one below that say some new technology is going to make design better, argued over the word "more" with another client, and read about consumers feeling like expletives are the best way to get results from customer service.

All I can say to all you corporate dweebs and misguided authors is "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?"

Stare into the foam of your morning latte and ponder this:

GOOD EXPERIENCE IS MANDATORY FOR TRUE BUSINESS SUCCESS!

BAD DESIGN IS UNETHICAL!

GOOD DESIGN IS HARD AND YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT IT! (just like you aren't good at being an architect)

WHEN GOOD CUSTOMERS CURSE AT YOU IT IS YOUR FAULT!

Please, please, please listen to us! We're already listening to you! We really, really have your best interests at heart when we focus on your customers! Learn from us!

Please?

So many still don't get it...

Despite a 10 year struggle with technology being flung in users faces, some of us still think that if we can just get to the right technology, all problems get better. It just ain't so!

So, here's the latest entry Service with a Smile. Besides being just a tad self-contradictory, it just simply misses the fact that there is a right approach to create the right experience BEFORE you select a technology. To think that the solution to customer problems caused by technology is more technology and an interesting business model is just more insanity.

The difficulty is that while all three companies take needed approaches, none solve the problem directly. Upfront good design is what’s needed. Having that would have meant that ClickFox didn’t have to find out for the client (who spent a lot of money) that callers were confused between which ZIP code. It would show that not every caller or company needs rotating, customized menus from Angel; many just need the right menu first. It would show what to do with all the wonderful data that Austin Logic collects and correlates.

The right design approach addresses all these things at the right place: The start! In fact, Forrester, while handing out all those awful grades, singled out one design for a special case study and referenced that in the white paper as an example of what should be done. And it wasn't the promise of a new technology, rather the promise of the right approach. One that’s been proven multiple times in the past few years for large and small clients.

There really is no paradox involved in automation. Studies show that many people like automation. They’re just picky about liking automation that works! Privacy, convenience, and speed all drive people to automation, but bad design drives them right back out. It doesn’t have to be that way. The days of bad design should have been over years ago, but too many times IT departments, bottom-line-only focused customer service managers, and the “we’ve always done it this way” crowd refuse to consider that all the goals can be balanced to make a greater portion of all stakeholders happy.

See, we can please the folks that want good automation. We can please those who know that their reason for calling isn’t handled in automation. We can clarify for the confused. We can achieve savings goals. We can help cross-sell. But only if we focus on all those things in design. It all comes down to creating the right experience for the callers. That’s a focus that does NOT start with technology. It starts with goals. Individuals are treated as such with the right process of finding out who they are. The failure of turning to technology as a starting point is to sell great school busses to people who want to ride bicycles. If we find out first that people want low-impact, low-density, quiet transportation, then we might go find a really good bicycle maker. The right technology selected by the right design.

Now, I’m not slamming any of these companies. Actually, I think all three offer critical components of successful business solutions: usage tracking, scalability, and knowledge manipulation. But, they still cannot overcome bad design. Even in the ClickFox example, how many callers were turned off by doing it wrong the first time? Finding out later is too late. Designing right, from the beginning, is the missing leg of the stool, and really the most important.

Newsflash: Odeon Still Sucks

WOWEEE! Remember how everyone in the UK used to talk about how bad Virgin Trains and Odeon Cinemas apps were? Well Odeon has been redesigned and guess what? Yup! as Margaret Urban might say: "It sucks ROCKS!" Give a listen and hold on to yer lunch! It even asks the wrong question. I want to know what time the movie I want to see is playing... that's all! Have a listen... Download Odeon1mp3.mp3

The Emperor’s Old Groove

Well, we might never know why Christopher Blade Kotelly now wields his sword for Edify, but we can still see the effectiveness of one who is able to “usability test (his) own designs”.

On the Edify site, play the three real, live, hot call clips to the right of the page. These are deployed apps, and, theoretically, calls from real callers.

Now, before dissection, look here and here to see what they think of themselves.

So, on to the fun stuff. These VUIs suck (Oh, but why, Mommy, why??)

Why? Let me shoot the bottles off the fence:

1) Arbitrary, useless naming of persona

“I’m Max”?

Really?! Who cares? Am I supposed to be glad to meet Max? Can I come kick his ass when he doesn’t understand me or he doesn’t route my data to the agent? We don’t really care who waits on us at restaurants. We sure as hell don’t care to hear a VUI name itself. I'd rather talk to the Aibo! That would be interesting. By the way, you’ve heard how popular Claire was, right?

2) Lengthy intros and pinpoint instructions that say little and provide great opportunities for caller frustration

"In order to properly direct your call, I'll be asking a series of questions that require specific responses from you..." "At this point there are two ways I can help. If you're absolutely sure you need a repair..."

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!! SHUT -- THE -- HELL --- UP!!!!!! I DIDN’T CALL TO HEAR YOU TALK!!!!!

Oh, this is maddening and so inane. Do I care what Max needs? Do I care how limited his ways are to help me? So many usability tests have confirmed that long instructions are counterproductive that its hard to believe this still goes on. Oh, and in, er, the Blue Light sample, the intro goes on for OVER 20 SECONDS!!!!

3) Unclear mixture of directed speech with "natural language"

So, first Max wants easy answers, then, after he’s warmed up, just let it fly at him. Only one problem, HOW in the world will callers know to do that? The apparent fact is, they don’t! Callers tend to have a Law of Inertia. If you guide them in a directed fashion first, they tend to stay in that mode. If you let on that they can speak their mind first, then they might. But switching rarely happens in the wild. And certainly not with the clarity of this "real" caller.

-4) Annoying chirpy-ness and irritating helpfulness in persona and talent performance

“Speak your answers, and, if I lose you, just say ‘start over’”

What if I speak in tongues, and you lose me? This is sadly so common these days. Not speaking in tongues, but rather the oh-so-helpful and perky VUI that manages to sicken and offend at the same time. Tone it down! Why the 22 year-old voice insulting me that I might get lost? Or waiting to tell me how to let her know that I don't know something?

5) Wildly inconsistent lack /use of contractions and other standard conversational devices

“I’m” “What is” “you would” “what is” “I will” “Let’s” “you would”

Have these designers ever listened to real people talk?!?!?!? In that short clip, only TWO contractions are used yet at least 5 other phrases would almost always be contracted by native American-English speakers in this context. And listen to the unnatural repetition, the incorrect object stress, the blathering recovery prompt. Serenity Now!

All right. You know what? I couldn’t do it! I just couldn’t stand to listen to these enough to document all the things wrong. They are old, tired, weak… They are NOT Best Practice. They do not represent the best of what’s possible.

I simply beg, no IMPLORE, NO! GROVEL AT YOUR FEET! DO NOT use these as models for how to design. They are BAD. THEY SUCK!!!

Talk about 'tude

Big cringe when I read this, billed as a "great ivr story". It was sad when i first heard of the practice years ago and now I find it repulsive, plus sad that its not condemned.

Speaking of bulls--t actions, here's a great exposition on the element of B.S. in Design. Unfortunately, this has carried over into VUI with the use of novelty song personas. You know, the ones that everyone talks about, but that drive you batty the 4th time you hear them. But, on the good side, its great to see more focus on the actual caller and their experience. Some companies are getting it right. But, damn, we still have a lot of work to do...

"How can I help you? Say Benefits or press 1"...

Ah, the utter crap that comes with arranged corporate marriages.

So, the New-ance will "offer more than 800 cumulative years of speech experience" (here). Now, I find that very uninspiring.

It took them 800 years to go from "say benefits or press 1" to "How can I help you?" (a phrase that was with us before technology and, oh, still doesn't get the job done). But in 800 years other humans moved from Ghengis Kahn to the world wide web. Somehow I don't see the same benefit from the new couple. But perhaps the sudden courtship will put an end to sniping at each other and keeping-up-with-the-joneses competition, at least publicy, and lead to real innovation in this still young UI area.

Suffice it to say the the "800 years" should impress very little. Doing it right is better than doing it a long time.

The Empire Strikes Back!!!

WOW! Hang on kids here comes ScaNuance or NuScan! I'm not sure this is healthy. And what about the rumors of IBM possibly setting up to buy the new conglomerate! Wouldn't THAT be a guarantee of quality!
Let's just hope that SSoft doesn't bury any more of the good technologies (like they did with Rhetorical).
Thoughts?